Every now and then I get a bee in my bonnet and it drives me to take a step that I have been avoiding due to my Taurean procrastination and what I like to define as laziness.
I have been using the support of a very gifted and insightful lady (let’s call her Joy) to help me steer my attention to finally getting myself out there and not worrying about ‘this and that’ and all the stories that my intellect might play in my mind.
As ‘Mad World’ by Tears for Fears plays through my speakers, I sit here with an urgency to get on with things and squash the procrastination. After all, it is an energetic story that I allow. The opening verse sums things up for me around this. But then again, “when people run in circles it’s a very, very Mad World” really resonates with me. While I work with this exact notion with clients, I also realise I have the notion within me…that I run in circles when it comes to what my energy positions as menial tasks.
"All around me are familiar faces Worn-out places, worn-out faces Bright and early for their daily races Going nowhere, going nowhere."
My procrastination is my “mad world”, and menial tasks are my “going nowhere”.
After yesterday’s catch-up with Joy, I was reminded that human nature is to compartmentalise most thoughts and experiences…which really creates our “Mad World”. And in my mad world of compartmentalised ‘things’, we identified the notion that doing pragmatic tasks really comes from the fact I haven't given value to a range of tasks that I need to undertake as a self-starter, that is, running my own business. Its lack of self-value is an important part of the puzzle. Instead, the pragmatic tasks go by the wayside as my corporate career provided the privilege of being about to delegate certain tasks I didn't want to do to my team. The value of what my energy considers menial is the procrastination…is in fact the blockage to my flow…is the shadow to my light.
So how do I work with this newly identified conundrum so that the contradiction can be released?
Joy was gracious in her insight, allowing me to see that (in her words) “brokenness is part of the wholeness” and why try to push through it when it needs nurturing and acceptance. The “aha” moment happened. While my ego (intellect) reminds me, menial tasks drain my energy, my heart shows me that this is the next growth spurt I am in. To not push through with disconnect and anguish, but to explore the resistance and see what it is, what it looks like to get a real read on my resistance and cultivate a true value for tasks that are compartmentalised as menial. To redefine my energetic relationship with such tasks.
My corporate years positioned me to value and categorise what tasks I spent my energy on to ensure I was maximising my time and energy on tasks that were considered to provide the biggest return on my personal investment. Time to undo that old way of allocating my energetic spending and reset any imbalance as I continue to step into a 100% self-directed career.
While Joy reminded me of the necessity to balance the yin and yang and to also consider the crunchy and messy parts of our existence that are compartmentalised in quadrants that we avoid, I realised this information was not new to me. However, it did create another ‘aha’ moment…not about balancing yin and yang, and not about the compartmentalising, but the ‘aha’ was, that while I guide and support clients with the exact same insight that Joy was giving me, it is always important to welcome all reflections into one’s life. Joy became my teacher and graciously navigated my needs to reflect/mirror exactly what I needed. And so very welcome it was.
As we continue to meander along our path of awareness, a sometimes missed important action is to stop and smell your own rose garden…to stop and reflect back on where you are and what is going on in your energy…the importance of putting our own insight or advice into action for ourselves. Are we in a state of checking into our biases of self as a means to continue on our path of awareness? Are we taking our own advice? Are we truly listening or are we confining ourselves to what our personal biases prevent us from accessing…the parts of our human selves that we need to reassess the value of?
As I say, our gifts are in our shadow…they are also in our self-bias. We aren’t destined to be controlled by our self-bias…stop and smell your own rose garden… instead of pushing past it, tend to it, and nurture it, so you can get a proper read on what your resistance is.
The path of healing is the path of humility. Be humble in your own garden.
Do you want to take the time to sit with your resistances to identify how to work with them? If you need support, insight, or guidance book an Intuitive Energy Session and we will get to the bottom of it together. www.areteliving.today/book